Republishing
Original : 1/14/20
Edited: 6/6/20
Melt - The Duke of East Anglia
UmU - The Duke of Mercia
Me as the King of England
We start in 936 AD
The Start of the Iron Century.
England is ruled by a King from the Royal family 'Of Sussex'
The rest of England is in pieces with 3 Main Duchies: Kent, Mercia and East Anglia
All the rest are unclaimed and so the Counts bicker among-st themselves.
The Kingdom allows Moderate Crown Authority which disallows internal Wars
However, the Kingdom of England has an Elective Monarchy, which is to say that all the Dukes have a shot at being King if they can get majority votes. This forms the butt of the issue as there exists a Triple Threat.
The 3 Main Duchies, Consolidated, are all under the same Family: 'Of Mercia'
Yes, meaning UmU and Melt are of the same ruling family here. I am alone against this Triumvirate. Individually I can match each of the Dukes but if they were to form an alliance together against me, which they can since they are family, this will be a short campaign for my ruler.
My coffers are empty, my vassals restless and my enemies fierce. Pagans keep trying to invade smaller realms up North, in Ireland and Wales.
My task is to stabilize my realm, since in Hindsight the Great Heathen Army will descend on me in the coming years and I need to be ready for them.
Initially I generously supported and gave concessions to UmU and Melt so they would be busy in their own matters.
All the while I worked to cut expenses and save up money in my coffers.
Any sign of weakness I give will be a signal for hell to break loose, so I kept my armies rallied and close.
There was the case of York which was still Norse so my Court Chaplain and Marshall were busy keeping order to prevent revolts there.
My Steward I kept busy in Collecting Taxes, which leaves me to make plays with either my Spymaster or Chancellor.
I slowly but surely won over some of the Minor Counts, the more upstart ones collected and formed Duchies.
I too formed Duchies and distributed them to whoever was loyal with whatever I could save.
Anyhow, checking in
My ruler has 2 Daughters which makes me quite happy with my Dynasty succession.
Melt and UmU though, are Oldies in their 60s and have no sons and daughters
So the first couple of years they rush to get married and lie in wait hoping the oldies would boink and produce a heir for their realm.
UmU and Melt's fate was tied as the one who dies first, the other inherits their titles. This meant an instant game over for whoever dies first.
I played on this Paranoia and kept them pacified.
The 3rd Duke: Duke of Kent, He took the initiative. As I worked to slowly gather my strength and play off my enemies discreetly while winning over small counties, Kent had built a Support base and sought to challenge my rule. Not through a Rebellion but Factionalism
My Ruler spent his life stamping down dissent
Winning over Counties by Diplomacy and Gifts
Imprisoning Rebellious ones by Uncovering their Intrigue
I dealt with one two three Rebellions.
One in Lothian, One in Norfolk and One in Wessex
I managed to hold my ground. Finally, the moment of truth was when I found the Duke of Kent, my biggest rival and antagonist, plotting. This gave me an excuse to arrest him
I made a gambit and marched troops to his Capital with the Context of Military Exercises
There was rumor of Heathen Armies attacking from the Seas.
Using this and coupled with the Plot Allegation, I had the drop on the Duke of Kent!
I took his Capital and pacified Half of his Forces
I mopped up the rest and finally stabilized the realm, but sadly my Ruler did not Live long to see that.
My next Ruler built up the treasury, hosted feasts and won over the Kingdom through effective Diplomacy. Afterwards he pressed the Claims of Ancient England in the North.
I fought a minor Duke fighting heathens, I had to pay generously to the Pope for permission, as it was seen highly impious since the Duke was fighting Heathens.
Speaking of Which, Noregar aka The Kingdom of Norway had descended on the North and took the Highlands, what little remained of Scotland fought along with the rest of the Catholic Isles. Excluding me, I was busy stabilizing my realm. I took advantage and took my rightful land from the Duke. It was a necessary sacrifice.
To redeem myself in the eyes of the Catholic World. I went to war against the Great Noregar
Their Strength was 2,000 Men Strong and various Tribal allies that totaled up to 4,000 Men
All of the combined strength of the Isles was not enough to withstand them.
Except ofcourse, me
I was playing it smart
With my Technologically Advanced Army of 6,000 men
The Great English Army fought the biggest contingent of the Heathen Army in the North.
2,500 Norwegians fell as my Victory shook the Heathens
They laid siege to my Capital by having their warriors sail from Norway to London
I met them in the fields of Bedford and struck a devastating blow to 1,000
The smaller Tribes trickled in, but one by one I squashed them all
Demoralized and Humiliated by the Invincible English army, The Heathens fell back to the Northern Highlands.
I secured the claims of England and quelled the Heathen Threat
For now....
Well that was all fun and Glorious
But now lets get real with what actually happened
1) RNG kept messing with UmU and Melt, as they waited and waited and waited for their rulers to produce heirs
2) Melt finally got lucky and got a Daughter, whom he named very appropriately
I am told it is a Profanity of the Extreme Degree, but it goes to show what Melt was feeling that he had to vent on finally getting an heir xD
3) UmU did not fare so well, he did find a Courtier who he liked a lot like he liked him very much, he was the best-est friend you could ever ask for!
And then he left, or so I heard xD
4) Down the line UmU started to catch on to my scheme of not having him man up on me with his familial lands, to which he demanded increasing gifts of gold to maintain his loyalty.
I obliged, (the trick is to give him the court jester title, he will make a big deal of it. Take the title away and give the gold claiming it was a gift. Ez Profit)
5) UmU finally got an heir!
After he attended one of my feasts, he came back to learn his wife got pregnant while he was away WHOOSH
It gave birth to a lovely girl, but it was evident that UmU was cucked.
He traced it down to be the Earl of Derby. He asked me to do something, but me being objective reasoned that the Earl is loyal and hasn't done any crime against the crown. If he has grievance then he can settle it like men. UmU couldn't since the Earl was very pro efficient in combat while UmU had an old hair bag for a ruler. He tried plotting against him to little avail.
6) UmU had another heir,
Credits to the Earl xD
this is "Be-careful what you wish for" in action right here.
7) UmU wanted to fabricate a claim and invade the Earl. Little does he know Vassal Wars and disallowed, but he persisted.
He went in search for a Chancellor since his was terrible with 3 skill
For the next 5 years he spent all his money hiring nobles who were all Exceptionally Genius Stewards but all were Terrible Chancellors with poor Diplomacy. UmU struggled and bashed his head on the keyboard in hopes of one. It never came to pass.
8) UmU decided to make his son spymaster and have him investigate the Earl to get him killed, unfortunately despite his skill. The Son was not an adult (under 16 years old) and so he had to wait for him to grow up
10) Melt's ruler finally kicked the bucket.
His 12 year old daughter as mentioned below took the reigns of rule.
There was little Melt could do now since it was a regency. With my realm stable now, I placed my Spymaster in Melt's Capital.
NO IM NOT GOING TO KILL HER
yet...
We all agreed not to plot against each other until our Family size was at-least 50 (living)
Otherwise the game would end real fast.
So seeing as the house 'of Mercia' was declining fast and had only 6 members alive (I had put the Duke of Kent to the sword which left his only son)
Melts Duchess, Her Sister, UmU, UmU's 2 heirs, The young Duke of Kent.
So I placed my Spymaster to keep an eye out for plots that may wanted to target Melt
Plot Power was at 180% so I was tempted at first XD
As he had nothing to do, he sat and read A Certain Magical Index: New Testament 11-12
Not the Bible, its a Japanese Light Novel. I am sure Melt can go for hours talking about it, he is utterly invested in it.
So anyway he read that as he watched his Duchess come of age.
UmU tried in vain to kill the Earl who cucked him
I stabilized England and Kicked out the Heathens whilst restoring England's rightful borders.
That was all for this time since Melt had to go Sleep.
Until next time!
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